The Intimate Stranger[1]

In 1990, in order to fill a significant gap in theological writing that informs chaplaincy and pastoral care to patients in crisis, Robert Dykstra wrote an essay which he entitled “The Intimate Stranger.”

Dykstra notes two approaches common in crisis ministry. Firstly, directive and pragmatic interventions focused on relief, and secondly, theologically reflective approaches that facilitate transformational learning. Dykstra reviews both, and finds them both lacking in themselves, and posits the question, "Can the metaphor of the Intimate Stranger be used to integrate the two approaches to enhance ministry in a crisis context?"

Stranger can be encountered, says Dykstra, on two levels, literally, and figuratively. Literally, in that the two (ie chaplain and patient) have not met before, and figuratively, in that the encounter may trigger internal fears within the chaplain about potential losses that the chaplain experiences as “other”. 

Dykstra reflects on “strangers” in the OT as a group of people who need special consideration, such as widows and orphans, who should also be the recipients of hospitality.  In the NT, he notes Matthew 25:35, ("I was a stranger, and you invited me in"), and Luke 24, Jesus as stranger on the Emmaus road. He writes too of 1) chaplain as stranger, who is welcomed by a patient and family, and by God in and through the same pastoral encounter, and 2) God as stranger to the chaplain. In this second circumstance, the chaplain can get overwhelmed by loss and experience a threat to faith. The response by the chaplain to this threat in further encounters is to go through the motions of intervention without reflecting theologically on the crises experienced.

In closing his essay, Dykstra reflects theologically on the biblical testimony of stranger as the bearer of God’s promise and presence and then explores the prospect that a chaplain may find sanctuary in this role. 

In previous integrative research I have conducted in relation to patients and families in crisis, I have found this essay to be very helpful. The idea itself is not new, and certainly there is much scope to explore other dimensions of "The Intimate Stranger" in chaplaincy ministry and the Word of God, but Dykstra's contribution is a useful reference point, both for chaplains and pastoral supervisors alike.

As I reflect on the privilege it is to serve the Lord in chaplaincy ministry in a hospital context, I would love to interact with other chaplains on the issue of "The Intimate Stranger" and particularly on Dykstra's last point in his essay, a biblical perspective on chaplain as stranger who bears God's promise and presence, and who finds sanctuary in that role.

In the book mentioned above, Dykstra's essay is just one of 19 primary documents written by a range of authors including Nouwen, Faber, Gerkin, Capps, Boisen etc, categorised into three groups, classic, paradoxical and contemporary images of pastoral care. Dykstra's essay is included in the paradoxical images of pastoral care category.

Stuart Adamson

Anglican Chaplain and Pastoral Supervisor (CPE)

Prince of Wales and Randwick Hospitals' Campus &

Westmead Centre for Pastoral Education

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[1] Robert C. Dykstra (ed). “Images of Pastoral Care – Classic Readings”  (Danvers, MA, Chalice) 2005.