Kate Bradford
Our secular world often sees suffering as a deficiency that
requires therapy. An entire industry exists around grief management. By
contrast a Biblical world view does not see grief as something to be managed or
a problem to be solved. The Bible offers a rich, nuanced exploration that takes
us deep into the mystery of suffering and the possibility of new life emerging
out of suffering. The Bible offers no techniques but rather suggests that we share
one another’s burdens. Eugene Peterson simply describes pastoral work as
pain-sharing[1]. To
suffer is to experience loss: loss of health, loss of face, loss of a loved
one, loss of things, loss of hope, loss of dreams, and loss of relationships. We
walk together with those who suffer loss and grief and in doing so the sufferer
is dignified and their loss and grief are validated.
Disorientation
To suffer is to experience profound disorientation. For each
sufferer there lies a challenge: to seek to find meaning in their new situation
and eventually, re-orientation. The ministry of the chaplain is to accompany
such people on this journey.
Chaplains need to be comfortable with the Biblical texts
that particularly address the subjects of pain, loss and grief. The primary
Biblical texts that deal with grief and loss are the Psalms of Lament,
Ecclesiastes, Lamentations, Job and the New Testament passion narratives. The
chaplain should also have a good working knowledge of several psychological
models that address grief and loss.
Walter Brueggemann[2],
writing on Psalms identifies three phases or periods of life: orientation, disorientation and re-orientation.
These phases are not necessarily successive or even related to stages of
maturity and once experienced they may occur again a number of times, in any
order, throughout a lifetime. The Book of Psalms reflects this as a natural
pattern of life, experienced both by individuals and by communities. Brueggemann
notes that as people negotiate transitions between the phases of orientation,
disorientation and re-orientation, different poetic expressions arise, notably
psalms of lament, praise and thanksgiving. For example, moving from either
orientation or re-orientation back into dis-orientation gives rise to lament.
By identifying these phases and recognising the necessary adjustments that need
to take place, people are then able to adjust their expectations and
accordingly, come to view different facets of relationships with God, self and
others.
Pastoral ministry to someone in a disoriented phase is to
hold out an inkling of hope contained deep within the disorientation itself. This
is because to claim that there is disorientation is to firstly assume that
there was once orientation and that there is a faint hope of re-orientation.
Just as shadows in themselves are evidence of light (as it is only by the occlusion
of light that a shadow forms), if there is no orientation it would not be possible
to become disorientated.
Grief and Loss Models
Psychological models and insights helpfully remind us that
grief is normal and periods of disorientation are part of the human condition. The
process of adjusting to loss and the accompanying grief takes time and there
are healthy and unhealthy patterns of grieving. There are no short cuts that
avoid the pain of grief.
Commonly referenced secular models are Kubler-Ross’ Stages
of Grieving, extended grieving cycles, and Stroebe and Schut’s Dual Process
model. These models engage with people further through the lenses of Bowlby’s
theories of attachment, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Erikson’s early social and
moral development, the total pain theory, continuing bonds, categories of loss
and others[3].
Each of these systems, while not excluding the possibility
of God and the reality of sin, are not designed to address humanity from the
perspective of the fall of Adam, the promises to Abraham, the exodus of Moses,
the kingship of David, the exile of Israel, the wisdom of Paul or the cross of
Christ. It is the task of pastoral theologians and chaplains to ask how, or indeed do, these theories fit together with the Biblical accounts of
suffering, concepts of faith, God’s loving kindness, and notions of sin, fallen-ness,
guilt, redemption, forgiveness and reconciliation
Lament
The Bible approaches loss, pain and grief through another quite
different lens – the lens of the lament. These writings unashamedly expose
suffering and engage with it. Lamentations assumes a dialogue partner, and that
partner is God. The suffering is
presented from different perspectives often oscillating between a human
perspective and a divine perspective. Lamentations neither offers an answer to
the problem of suffering nor does it explain pain, however it does help the
sufferer face grief. Suffering is never presented as random or as an impersonal
force, it is seen as intensely personal. Lamentations offers an articulation
for suffering and companionship during the time of suffering. It is in suffering
that the closeness to God, and distance from God is most clearly seen and
keenly felt.
The intensely personal book of Lamentations is never
theoretical. The lament is a cry across a gap that must be negotiated between
humanity and God, fallen-ness and holiness, mortality and eternity. An attempt
to close this gap, either by a quick theological resolution (over realised
eschatology that sees everything from a divine end point) or theodicy (theistic
or philosophical explanations of suffering) unwittingly create a disjunction between
what is real ‘here and now’ and the lost ‘ideal’. They attempt to close the gap
too quickly.
The highly structured lament follows an acrostic pattern
(each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The A- Z
structure guarantees against rushing through, causing both suffer and helper to
attend to the suffering. The acrostic device thoroughly covered the enormity of
the suffering and the myriad details of grief. The A –Z as it were, covered
again and again and again and again (five times) the tragedy until the grief
begins to dissipate and its intensity is finally spent.
Walter Kaiser[4]
suggests the chapters of Lamentation correlate with perspectives of the
suffering representing views from the: outside, inside, upward, overall and
finally, with prayer towards the future. Much popular recent pastoral care practice focuses
only on the inside view (and this from a psychological perspective rather than
a theological perspective) and thus significantly decreases the possibility of
helping a sufferer find wholeness.
In pastoral visitation there is a general pattern to the
sufferer led conversations, which closely follows the pattern of Lamentations. The
sufferer will usually give an overview of events, and in doing so help put the
visitor in the picture. Secondly, the sufferer will usually share in
greater depth their perspective on their suffering if given the opportunity. A skilled
pastoral visitor, practiced in empathetic listening skills, helps the sufferer to
express their feelings and find words for things, as yet un-named or
articulated. Part of the pastoral care will be to help the sufferer to move from
the ‘why’ questions that cannot be answered, to a gentle enquiry as to
where and how God might be in this situation. Over time the conversation may
oscillate between the grief and a catalogue of woes, pain, sin, injustice and
unexpected inklings of hope.
Lamentations describes a loss and grief of catastrophic
proportions and also suggests a model for those who wish to enter the pastoral
work of pain-sharing. Lamentations locates suffering to particular events and
gives words to the horrors experienced, the emotions and feelings are not
aimless anxieties but connected to real events – a historical memory. Sufferers
will tend to orientate themselves toward loss-orientation, or towards a reconstructive-orientation, or oscillate between the two[5].
It is here that the chaplain helps those who suffer to reconstruct their world,
incorporating the grief.
The pastoral visitor holds onto the threads of grace and
holds out a glimmer of hope throughout by the use of sensitive grace-filled
conversation and prayer. Over time (often a long time) a new perspective is formed, very
often containing deeply honest reflection and observation about self and
others. Slowly a re-orientation begins to take shape. Yet each visit can return
to any stage and oscillations are unpredictable. Yet the boundaries of the
lament place limits on evil. Suffering – even suffering as terrible as in
Lamentations – cannot go on for ever.
The steadfast love of the Lord
never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3: 22 -24)
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3: 22 -24)
[1]
Peterson, Eugene H. ‘The Pastoral Work of Pain-Sharing, Lamentations’, Five
Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work. 1992. pp. 113 – 148.
[2]
Brueggemann, Walter. The Spirituality of the Psalms. 2002.
[3]
For chaplaincy, it is important to recognise that these psychological theories
were not developed to reflect on the human condition in the light of Biblical
wisdom. This reflection is the task of theology.
[4]
Kaiser, Walter C. Jr. Grief and Pain
in the Plan of God: Christ Assurance and the Message of Lamentations. 2004.
[5] Cf Stroebe and Schut, Health Outcomes of Bereavement, 2007.
