My 1st 10 weeks as a Chaplain- What I Have Learnt

by Charlie Brammall

It seems to me that a Chaplain’s core business is:

·         to pray for patients’ healing- physical emotional and spiritual

·         develop real friendships with them, their families & staff, &

·         to be able to answer any questions they have about Jesus.

But it is also to try and make it easier for them to share her feelings. And if a patient initiates s a question about Jesus, that gives us “permission” to answer their it. And if I pray for that to happen, and God provides it, it’s a very exciting opportunity!

It seems to me that we don’t just care for people’s emotional & spiritual needs, but their intellectual & even physical needs (to an extent) as well. We listen to them actively & reflectively, empathise with them, and are interested in their feelings about everything they are going through- physically, emotionally, spiritually, medically, intellectually, occupationally & financially. But we don’t try to solve their problems practically like a social worker does. And we don’t bring our own agenda to the relationship, except to help them express their emotions. We are willing to stay with them as long as it is helpful for them, but we don’t try to “counsel” them, ie change their thoughts, beliefs or feelings. We aim to pray with them if it’s appropriate. And we never promise that we’ll visit again, but say we’ll “try to”. We are aware of the potential for power imbalance, as we look like hospital “officials” & can seem like we’re giving them no choice about seeing us or taking our advice.

Patients are affected by illness & pain, and this also affects our relationship with them. That is, we try & work with whatever material they give us, & match their level of emotion. So we often need to be quiet, subdued, slow & measured, in order to gently introduce them to the “Great Healer”. Sometimes their whole experience of life is related to their illness- they are confused, fearful, ignorant, anxious & worried; but sometimes, also interested in Jesus.

Our relationships with patients are often short term, as the average length of stay for someone in POW is 2.6 days. So God may be giving patients an opportunity they might never have again (with a Chaplain) to ask about Jesus. Sometimes they urgently want to talk about Jesus. So we try to do that lovingly, appropriately, unconditionally and naturally. If a patient has no interest in Jesus, we are still just as willing to chat to them unconditionally about what they do want to talk about. This leaves them with a great impression of a Christian.

We also aim to provide the 6 functions of pastoral care- healing, guidance, support, reconciliation, nurture, liberation, and empowerment. This is often by answering a patient’s questions about Jesus, and the spiritual blessings he has achieved in his death & resurrection. Answering people’s questions about Jesus can be the most loving way to care for them pastorally.

As we care for people, we try not to ask them questions to draw them out, as questions carry our agenda not theirs, & put them on the spot and pressure them- so it’s counter productive. So we try and use alternatives, like making observations about physical things, “seem to be” statements, “I” statements, “tell me about” statements, vocalized sounds, body language, “I imagine” statements, and general statements.

One of our roles is to answer people’s questions about Jesus as the ultimate solution to their emotional and spiritual pain, loss and anxiety… and as the ultimate source of their fulfilment, joy and meaning- especially spiritual. We also try to help them know love, both as something to be received and something to give, in order to relieve them of their sorrow & alienation from God, and present them perfect in Christ to God. We try, through words, actions and relationships, to introduce them to God and his love as deeply as possible in their lives. Chaplaincy is person-centred care that complements the other helping disciplines, while paying particular attention to spiritual & emotional care. It is caring for people in the power of Jesus’ death & resurrection, in whatever situation they find themselves, and "walking with them along their path".

Our role with other staff is to encourage & pray with the Christians, & model Christ-likeness, humility, gentleness & generosity for unbelievers. We pray for and with them, for their needs, and that they will have questions about Jesus. We complement their medical skills and training with our training in emotional and spiritual care. We are part of the care team with them, so patients receive the best possible chance of recovery. And we aim to develop real friendships with staff, so we can care for them, including spiritually. We try to leave them with a warm, positive, responsible & sensitive experience of a Christian, so they will associate Jesus with us, & hopefully have their boring, hypocritical, out of touch & judgemental stereotype of Christians defused. We do this by being relational, real & person-centred- not officious or critical.

So what has my journey been as a new Chaplain after 10 weeks? Well, the novelty of visiting people has begun to wear off, which is good, as it forces me to face up to the hard work of Chaplaincy. It has also given me a conviction that Chaplaincy is valuable & I need to commit to it long term, even when it’s no longer novel & exciting. Visiting has become harder as I’ve become more familiar with it, as I now know what to expect when visiting particular patients, including what I will find difficult, boring, confronting etc. So I’m becoming more realistic about it, which is good. I can understand the attraction for Chaplains to move away from visiting, into a variety of other related activities, like admin, training, etc. But I know I wouldn’t be good at those things, so I want to preserve the priority of visiting at all costs. I do love visiting, and I’m very grateful to God for giving me this job in which I can play to my strengths, and not do the sort of things I’m not strong at and find stressful. But if I need to keep putting my trust in God to strengthen me to pastor people, or the wheels will definitely fall off. So I want to pray more about my work, and more intelligently & faithfully. I sometimes find it confronting to visit patients with certain illnesses. But in God’s grace I recently visited someone with one of these illnesses, and for some reason He defused my fear of visiting those patients. God is indeed good.

What areas do I want to keep working on into the future? I want to learn how to put wise and helpful boundaries in place with patients. But also dismantle inappropriate boundaries like my reticence to visiting people with certain conditions. And I want to keep working on not asking questions, but practicing a variety of empathic reflections instead. I want to think about how I can develop & improve our weekly Chapel services for patients & staff, and think about starting a regular Chapel service in the Psych ward. I would like to be the Chaplaincy representative on the hospital Palliative Care Committee, and add a spiritual perspective to it. Chaplaincy is great! God is even better! I can’t wait for the next 10 weeks. And the next 10 years!